Fly Slip

Oh Dreary me.

This series has been built up around a whole bunch of mini shows.

Tendulkars 20th year in cricket. That’s a long time to be playing cricket Sachin. Lucky sod.

The tussle for the ICC No1 Test Ranking. Apparently either team could attain this. Which of course would be confusing to most as England are clearly no1, given that they won the Ashes.

The fact that no one really knows who will play for either team.

Sri Lanka’s batting is probably the same it was when we lost their last. I havent checked but I am sure Sanath Jayasuriya must be playing.

But Sri Lankas bowling will be interesting. We are hoping the selectors don’t do a doosey and actually pick 3 spinners. I mean ok, its India but 3 might be slightly overkill.

Nuwan, Thushara,Herath, Murali , Mathews is our choice. Do we still love Splendid? Yes, but Herath is more interesting and more importantly, in form.

The dude who got shot and King Kumar and his boi-friend Mahela need to bat well. A couple of phycotic centuries from Dilshan wont hurt.

The Indians probably dont know who they will bowl either. Zaheer is always a threat so he might get a go, although the only cricket he’s been playing is probably on his Xbox.

Ishant still rides around on the back of a performance in some test in Australia.

The key will be Harbajan and Mishra, if they are on song - Sri Lanka will struggle.

It will also be King Kumar’s first real test as a test captain.

Ok so may its not gonna be dreary after all.

flyslip

damiths

Filed under: Tharanga Paranavitana, ajantha mendis, anjelo mathews, dhoni, dilshan, flyslip, mahela jayawardane, prasanna jayawardene, sangakkara, splendid mendis, sri lanka in india 2009, thilan thushara, tilan samaraweera | No Comments »

We don’t know.

We think about writing here but we never get around to it.

We think about while we eat, take a crap and read columns on cricinfo.

We even think about it while we bat for the Thunderdogs, which may be the root of of all evil when it comes to us scoring runs.

We think about it when we make love and gorge on a chicken pie and redbull.

Note that these things do happen together, sometimes.

Are we back? We don’t know.

flyslip

damiths

Filed under: flyslip | 1 Comment »

Although that would have been friggin insane if he did.

We are of course talking about none other than the Krab Katich himself. Leader of the Blues, my current home state (LOL), one time finalist in the Champions League and Celebrity MasterChef.

Yes that’s right folks. When the Krab is not walking across his stumps to swat one past midwicket to the fence, he is in fact, in his kitchen, wearing a dodgy apron and cooking shit up on TV.

If you are Australian and its a Wednesday, there is nothing better on TV. I’m sure all you cool kids know about masterchef. If you dint, fuck you, you should watch it.

Of course, for those of you who dont know the Krab is handicapped. No, not because he seems to limp across the crease, but because the little fucker cant smell.

Now, I have been told by reliable sources, my mom, that a sense of smell is relatively important in the kitchen.

The Krab doesn’t have it. Which just makes him a really weird dude. But as with all things Krabby, he got the job done.

It even enticed cliche headlines across Australia.

Katich ‘clean bowls’ competition. Jesus.

They were in fact talking about the Krab getting into the semis of this thing. Fuck me it was brilliant. He made his signature dish which of course was some disappointing Salmon dish and a 10 layer crepe cake.

He has even mastered the art of being at two places at the same time. India and Australia. Is there nothing beyond this man?

All I know is it’s a good time to be the Krab.

flyslip

damiths

Filed under: simon katich | 7 Comments »

True story.

With Sri Lanka scheduling a humdinger of a tri series with India and Bangladesh, it now appears that Victorias only chance of a half decent spinner since Warney playing for them has gone out the window.

We are talking about Murali of course, that guy who may or may not have thrown a few years ago at the G.

It would have been quite interesting if Murali had made it over here. Every time He has toured since that day in 1995, he has got booed all across Australia.

Victorians have been as guilty as all of them and we wondered what kind of reception Murali would get down there.

Going from ‘You chucking brown cunt’ to ‘Ah that Murali is  a genius’ would have been a bit of a stretch even for the Australians.

flyslip

damiths

Filed under: murali | 4 Comments »

When your country takes part in a major world event that have the eyes of the world, and we mean the entire world, such as the uber cool ICC Champions trophy, you cannot help but get sucked in to believing they will do well.

Even though there are plenty of signs to the contrary and know you will end up looking like a fucktard to your self, let alone others.

Sri Lanka are ranked 7 or 8th in the ICC rankings. I don’t know exactly because no one really cares unless you are in the top 3.

There is a reason for that. Actually there are plenty of them.  The problem with Sri Lanka is that when they are good, they are really good.

But when they are bad they are as entertaining as a Britney Spears song.

The results over the last two years reflect this to a tee. 27 wins to 25 losses. Good one day, shithouse the next.

Over the last year or so the Sri Lankan top order all have averages below 35, apart from Dilshan who just happens to be in the form of his new life with 49.

And without Sangakkara’s support it really would have been a one man effort.

The general demise of our own Splendid Mendis as a potent threat and his relative shitting himself without Murali has cast small shadow of doubt, even in our minds,  about whether he can lead the attack in his stead.

While most were surprised that Sri Lanka were knocked out of the Champions trophy, for anyone who have followed them over the last two years it was a typical performance.

A rampaging backed up by engaging in the worst possible act in world cricket- losing to England in an ODI.

In 25 games or so, Sri Lanka have only managed to get past 250 on 9 occasions. They simply do not bad consistently well enough to win matches regularly.

That is why they are ranked some where no one cares about, Have no batsmen in the top 10 ODI rankings, keep losing at home and have been sent home packing from SA.

Sangakkara might think Sri Lanka’s fielding is appalling, but their batting is not much better.

flyslip

damiths

Filed under: ajantha mendis, dilshan, icc champions trophy 2009, jayasuriya, murali, sangakkara, splendid mendis | 7 Comments »

-Australia keep winning it

-Its played to that awfully long 50 over stuff

-It takes forever

-No one can agree on one format

-Namibia plays in it

-Its never played in Australia

-Ireland are better at it than England, which is just too funny

-It killed Bob Woolmer

-That 2020 WC thingy.

-It keeps embarrassing the No1 ODI team in the world. (This is actually a good thing)

-It makes the Champions trophy look good

-It makes the 2020 WC thingy look better

flyslip

damiths

Filed under: icc champions trophy 2009, world cup | 5 Comments »

That is what we will be playing this year.

As a rookie in the team, I have no idea what the standards are to begin with, but if the rumours are true then Grade 2 will be quite the little test of character .

If I make it, and had a British Passport I could realistically be trying out for the English team by this time next year.

The team I am playing in, brilliantly named the Thunderdogs, are a collection of brown dudes from the Motherland.

Needless to say we are all quite wristy.

We tend to rely one the one batsmen and are generally pretty slack in the field, with Me playing a major role in that.

We even have an armada of spinners at our disposal. The only thing missing is one with a dodgy action and we would be the sterotypical Subcontinental team.

We have been hitting the nets hard, once a week, for the last 2 months or so. And I must say we have improved steadily over that period.

The first day we batted and bowled, we couldn’t get up the next day. Those are now a distant memory and we have risen through the Ashes to earn ourselves the new ball.

We are quite proud of that. Although lacking in pace we make up for with pretty good movement and a steady line,whenever we do get it right.

It is also quite safe to say our fitness is as good as fat Elvis’s . Fielding drills are our mortal enemy and we shudder at the thought of them.

Our season starts October 10th and we shall try to give you the low down on the team members as we go along.

Can we survive in Grade 2?

Will I collapse in the middle of a fielding drill?

Would we be able to sledge a white dude ?

Stay tuned as we bring you the Thunder and the Dogs and everything in between.

flyslip

damiths

Filed under: flyslip, thunderdogs season 09/10 | 5 Comments »

I don’t like the new Dilshan.

Where is the dude that struggled for runs and looked like he was always going to offer us more than he delivered.

Now its all scooping and 100s.

Too predictable in my book. It used to be quick fire 30s and then some spectacular run out or something. Now its just mindless amount of runs over the top and magical willow wielding in power plays

We already have a dude who did does that Thank you very much Mr. Dilshan. Talk about a copy cat.

I like my dose of Dilshan with more promise than actual deliverance.  At least it was more exciting than all this mind numbing tom foolery.

Back to the death trap that is the Sri Lankan middle order for you I say.

flyslip

damiths

Filed under: dilshan, icc champions trophy 2009 | 7 Comments »

Has started to become a little bitch for us.

As you may, or may not have, noticed we have been pretty crap at being up to date around these parts.

We have struggled to strike a proper balance between work-life and cricket. If we had it our way it would only be cricket that would need the balancing.

It would probably revolve around Watching-Writing and Watching more cricket.

Its become apparent to us that Work is kind of important too. Unfortunately we are not lucky enough to be an umpire or something cool like a groundsman.

Although we have not being writing much about the cricket, we have in fact started playing quite a bit of it.

We have joined a proper team you see, and will be making an appearance in some grade cricket over the Australian summer. Which by all counts is going to be one motherfucker of a scorcher.

We will endeavor to write about this at length. Judging by early season fitness we will probably be getting more chances to write than to play.

There was in fact an incident, where yours truly felt his breakfast come up the wrong way after an incredibly torturous fielding drill.

Trying to live this down with the team has been rather tricky.

In the meantime, SL has been pretty hectic as they say here. Them Saffers got a little taste of the real Splendid Mendis didn’t they.

Here is hoping all of you are managing a good cricket-life balance.

We’d be interested to know how you manage this. So vote on our new poll !

flyslip

damiths

Filed under: flyslip | No Comments »

-Its very annoying, for a bowler - one minute you think you’ve bowled a good ball and got the batsmen in a weirdo tangle, the next, the ball has somehow found its way to the very fine leg boundary

-Its confusing, for the fan - there you are sitting back and enjoying a nice 2020 game and all of a sudden you are thinking, what the fuck was that, did the batsmen just trip over? did the ball even hit the bat? But its all good cuz it went for four. But still, confusing.

-It would be hard to argue that it is a MCC sanctioned cricket shot. We are sure it exceeds some bent elbow limit and breaks a sub section of a subsection of a law somewhere. No ones found it just yet.

-It’s a shot that should only be used in backyard cricket. I mean its ridiculous to go down on one knee, and flick a fast bowler over your head. In backyard cricket it’s fine, but in a international ? Its just not cricket.

-Technically this shot is flawed and all over the place. You don’t make use of your top hand at all. Bottom hand shots are so uncultured.

-It kind of resembles a javelin throw- in reverse

-In the very least the bowler can be warned before the ball that he will play this shot.

-Lastly people calling this Dilshans trademark is not on and and plain wrong. It’s is all a bit outdated as his name is already TM Dilshan. We would think your very name being a trademark is good enough.

For all the reasons above we propose the Dilscoop be banned from cricket for all eternity or until Larry King dies, which ever comes sooner.

flyslip

damiths

Filed under: dilshan, sri lanka v new zealand 2009 | 11 Comments »